Friends of the opposite gender or nah?


“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages”

I truly believe that quote. Friendship happens to be the center of our marriage. Not everyone will agree with me but for us, this is what works. We are each others best friends. With that said it doesn’t mean we don’t have our fair shares of ups and downs. It just means building our friendship, which in turn means building our marriage is our number one goal. I remember when Jason and I first started dating and he made it completely clear that he wasn’t comfortable with me having male friends. Now, the feminist in me was like, “oh bye Ike Turner” but the grown woman asked him to elaborate. Jason went on to explain that if we are building our friendship with the goal of marriage he wasn’t comfortable with friends who either tried to once date me or had ulterior motives. Basically, what that meant was he wasn’t going to compete with any sideline haters. Once I really thought about that I realized he was right. I didn’t have any regular male friends that ultimately just wanted a friendship. We were either friends that once dated, friends that didn’t really hang much or friends in which the male occasionally flirted. I also started to think about my previous relationships and how much I hated dealing with the, “my homegirl wants to meet you” lines. Like what homegirl? Who is she? Your mama loves her?? This was the reality to my previous relationships and one thing I truly knew I also wasn’t comfortable with. So in all actuality I agreed and didn’t want him to have friends of the opposite gender either. So yeah, basically we are both crazy and we agreed on it! All that to say friendships require communication. Jason and I aren’t the perfect example but I can say we are truly happy and friendship remains the core to our happiness and foundation. Honest, raw and true friendship. He is my male friend, he is my best friend and what a perk it is to say he is my husband.


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